Abstain.

Adjective: abstain.

1. To refrain from something by one's own choice.


You lean in to kiss me, gently weaving your fingers into mine.
My breath catches, and then quivers upon exhale.
Feelings so alien to me, rupture in my chest.
I was going to kill you. 
But now, I abstain.
Soft pink lips caress my neck.
I bet you can feel the blood pumping. 
Every beat, exploding emotions Ive never felt. 


I was going to spill your blood upon this ivory floor.
And now, I abstain.

Ruminative.

Adjective: ruminative.

1. Deeply or seriously thoughtful

Simply you speak.
Thought and feel emanate.
And I hear only one tone
as each phrase passes

from your lips.
Your eyes remain deep
with an intimate,
ruminative edge.

Struggle.

Noun: Struggle

1. An energetic attempt to achieve something.
2. An open clash between two opposing groups (or individuals)
3. Strenuous effort

I struggle.
I struggle with you.
To read what your eyes don't show.
To understand what your words don't say.

I struggle to feel how you feel.
To interpret what you mean to me.
I don't know what you want.
I don't know what I want.

I struggle.